Going from Scotland to the Republic of Ireland is a bit like walking up in a different reality where everything is the same but not really. The cars drive on the same side of the road but rather than miles everything is in kilometres. You can visit similar shops like Boots, Next and Argos but you can forget paying in pounds everything is the euro here. Need some cheap shit clothes that fall apart on their first wash? Well it isn’t Primark you need but Pennies instead – made all the stranger that most, if not all items in the shop still have Primark labels on them with zero attempt to change over to Pennies.
The set up is like some sort of fever dream experiment conducted by both the UK and the EU at the same time. The county is part of the EU but doesn’t count Schengen days. Making it a perfect destination for those wanting to experience the best of both worlds (in theory anyway), or in my case not wanting to return to the UK and being low on options after repeatedly being unable to comprehend how the hell Schengen actually works (look I was drinking a lot leave me alone)
Here are some thoughts on the best and worst differences from two months of living and exploring there. Brought to you by Father Ted and Peep Show.
The best
Accent – While it may be a bit of a bastard to understand at times, the singsong quality of the Irish accent never failed to put a smile on my face. Strong contender for best accent around (if you can understand it)
The People – Probably more so than any other people I’ve met on my travels, the majority of Irish seem to be real-life stereotypes for better and worse. Honestly what you think they will be like is exactly how they are. There is not a lot of bullshitting about, the humour is fantastic and they are always slightly mental – time spent with them is never boring.
Euro – While I mentioned the strangeness of the euro being used, if you are coming from Scotland or another part of the UK then this works in your favour given the pound is a stronger currency and will go a bit further….or at least it would if the cost of living wasn’t constantly rising.
The Worst
Accommodation costs – Ireland just what in the actual fuck is going on here. Explain yourself because you aren’t making any goddamn sense. The rent being insane is one thing but even to book a hotel or an Airbnb for one night means you will be spending obscene amounts of money for, at best a bog standard room. For the price of one night you could literally fly to another country, it is mental.
Weather – Look this doesn’t just affect Ireland but still, the weather there is so shit it makes Scotland look like Barbados. I spent two months living in Ireland and during one of my many moans there I started ranting about the darkness (not the band), the wet weather and how it hadn’t changed at all since we had been there. I was then corrected by the fact that it was actually darker that day. This just about sums it up.
The Attractions – In my experience the attractions in Ireland boil down to one of two things: 1. A tribute/reminder of the great famine, and 2. A rock. This can sometimes be multiple rocks in a field. I can understand the emphasis placed on the famine given its historical significance but the rocks are a bit more baffling. If they were cool or exciting rocks, then I could understand it a bit more but no, it is usually just a normal rock in a field. Sometimes the rock is angled, sometimes it isn’t. This is about as exciting as it gets. No wonder the pubs are always jam packed.
The In-between
The level of gabbiness – I think it is fair to say that the Irish bloody love a blether. No matter if it is in a shop, a pub, a workplace, on the street or literally anywhere, any excuse for a gab is fully utilised. Honestly it is intense. When I was staying in Galway I went into a shop to buy a Twix, I had a craving for one and the shop sold them – a happy marriage if ever I saw one. This scenario should have taken a few moments at most. Instead I was there for around ten full minutes discussing the weather and Christmas plans with the woman behind the till. The phrase ‘a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet’ seems to be embraced fully by the Irish which is lovely but just make sure you always give yourself extra time to do anything involved with going outside.
The Scenery – Look I’m not going to even argue the toss here, Ireland is a pretty beautiful country. That being said however, it is also fucking terrifying as well. The only thing that separates beauty and pure untold horror is darkness. By day the woodland scenery is picturesque but once the sun goes down it turns into the backdrop for every horror movie ever made. This is not helped by the fact that most non-motorway roads are just country roads (if you could even call them that) through fields. Thus fueling the feeling that at any moment that Bigfoot, a werewolf or plain old regular serial killer will appear in front of you. The only downside to the scenery is that it never changes. It goes from field to field and all that differs is that the grass colour slightly changes depending on which area of the country you are in. While it may look nice at first it soon transforms into driving through a scooby doo cartoon.
Public Transport – It is perhaps unfair to criticise the public transport system for one simple reason: IT DOESN’T EXIST! Seriously. If you don’t live in Dublin then good luck getting around. On separate occasions, once in Ardfinnan and one in Kilkenny, I literally saw people going around in horse and cart, yet at no time did I see a bus. During my time in Stonyford, a small town located outside of Kilkenny and roughly a ten to fifteen minute drive away, I was presented with the bus timetable. The bus timetable was for a dial-a-bus (which should be well known to Still Game fans -DONUTS) that only ran once a week on a Thursday morning provided you called it in advance. Seriously, Bosnia has better public transport and they barely have roads. Given how affluent Ireland is it is pretty inexcusable.
Ireland is most definitely not a place without its charms. If you can stomach the shite weather, lack of public transport, and have a wad of cash to cover the astronomical accommodation costs then give it a bash. A fondness for Guinness, people, and fields will go a long way.
