Black Mirror has always been one of the most thought-provoking, challenging and engaging shows around. At the heart of the anthology is the philosophy of technology and the good, but primarily the bad ways that it can affect our lives. The show parallels our own reality and mainly grounds itself in technology that feels within the realms of our possibilities.
Watching the first two episodes of season 7 however it seems like the mirror is no longer cracked but fully shattered.
One of the show’s greatest strengths regardless of the season is its ominous sense of foreboding and dread. From seasons 4’s Crocodile to season 7’s Beyond The Sea, the show has always excelled at putting the viewer through a physical and mental torture ride.
With Common People and Bete Noire however we are lacking Black Mirror’s usual creativity, cleverness and quality. Common People is a fairly smartish (and grim) take on what the American health service will most likely end up like under President Musk, it falls apart very quickly however as the two characters spend the whole episode ‘carrying the idiot ball’ making moronic decision after moronic decision. Throw in some odd design choices from the get go and what we are left with is a shallow bit of plodding failed emotional torture porn.
The female lead, Amanda, played by a slightly terrifying wish version of Rashida Jones, suffers some brain disease thing (honestly I can’t remember and can’t be arsed checking or rewatching as it was so dull) which leads to husband Mike enrolling her in some experimental brain technology cloud service which would save her life. Straight away there is a concern at the $300 monthly cost. The couple’s financial troubles are touched on very briefly, mainly just by the saying they can’t or can barely afford it. The first issue begins here. Mike is an experienced welder and Amanda is a teacher. They drive an old estate car and don’t seem to live an extravagant lifestyle. So why are they so skint? Is the implication they quite literally spunked all their money away on IVF? While the couple are trying for a child and have been in the past there is no mention of IVF and they are currently only trying by natural means or having a happy accident as they keep referring to it. Predictably the cloud service introduces new tiers and with it much higher costs which leads to Mike scrabbling and doing countless overtime at his job. A quick Google search highlights that as an experienced welder Mike could easily be on over $70,000 per year before overtime and Amanda could be earning $65,000+, which would give them combined earnings of $135,000 per year before tax.
As the service costs go up, Mike decides to supplement their income online. This leads to the next issue with the episode. Rather than asking for a pay rise and/or promotion or going for a new job, Mike decides that downing a pint of his own piss online is the best option. Once Amanda starts spouting ads at children and being threatened with losing her job, she keeps bellowing on about how she will get fired if they don’t upgrade to the next tier, rather than asking her work for a non-pupil facing role or getting literally any other job. Instead of common sense the story decides that the logical decision is for Mike to degrade himself online, rather than say, sit down and have a conversation together and perhaps form some sort of plan. Honestly it might have been best if they just downloaded a whole new brain for both of them because the ones they have don’t seem to be of much use.
Thankfully being the smart man he is, Mike decides to hide his identity online in the form of the world’s shittest mask. This vaguely touches on the ‘dangers’ of selling oneself on something like OnlyFans but ultimately it just highlights the stupidity of the episode and the characters. Mike learns about the website via one of his coworkers that uses the site constantly, especially at their shared workplace. So Mike’s pathetic attempts to hide his identity are beyond futile at best. Surprising no one, his coworker finds out and shares proof of it around their workplace, in the form of print outs of Mike sitting on a dildo glove.
(Worst disguise ever)
Honestly $500 to sit on your own thumb isn’t exactly the worst deal ever and if anyone is offering I’ll do it for $499.
There is nothing worse when a show or movie decides to stop and information splurge. The most recent Batman movie was one of the worst offenders of this that I have seen, with Jim Gordon’s character resigned to being there only for the thickos in the back. His entire character arc is just repeating what has either said or happened just in case the audience is too fucking stupid to pay attention.
This episode is one of the few cases where some further information would actually have helped a lot. Why are the couple so fucked financially? Did they try literally anything else over the time of getting the implant to the end of the episode? Why did he think cat ears would protect his identity? Did he already own the dildo glove or was that purchased specifically for his online escapades and if so then how did he explain it? Why didn’t Amanda ask the school to give her a non pupil facing role? Why did Mike not secure any other job but instead just become Bob Mortimer and do his own DIY dentistry? The idea behind the episode was there but the execution was not. If there had been two-three episodes devoted to it (which obviously in the context of Black Mirror wouldn’t work) then we could have got a genuinely heartfelt, emotionally gut punching watch. Instead we got a half baked turd. This may not be a popular option given that somehow the episode is currently sitting on 8.1 on IMDB, which shockingly makes it better reviewed than any episode from either season 5 and 6.
Another key issue with this episode is the chemistry between the two or the lack thereof. The performances from both are fine given the little they are both given to work with, however when it comes to the aspects of being a believable husband and wife duo, much like Amanda’s chunk of diseased brain post surgery it is completely missing. Neither seem particularly phased that Amanda was effectively dead and is now ‘cured’. Mike’s only concern seems to be getting his yearly burger at the spot they got married at. It doesn’t seem to be for particularly romantic reasons that they go there either, just to eat the aforementioned burger, watch some old folk sing fairly badly and stare at some chewing gum.
The episode briefly touches on what it is like to deal with a terminal partner, spoiler: she sleeps a lot, and I guess on assisted suicide too, but not really. This is being generous and looking at things that ultimately aren’t there. Sadly what is there, is a moronic mess featuring two people who are hard to garner sympathy or empathy for. It is fair to say this episode is much like most aspects of my life – a good idea but terrible execution.
Moving on from half baked turds to full on diarrhoea splatters, next up is Bête Noire. Over the years Black Mirror has been accused of straying away from the technology gone wrong aspect that is usually the driving force behind it and into the more surreal and ridiculous realms. Last season’s Mazey Day being one of the worst examples, deciding that Werewolves should feature for some reason. I never fully agreed with these criticisms until I watched Běte Noir. Even the so-called Red Mirror episodes that do not fit in with the shows ‘timeline’ are much better than this. The technology gone wrong boiled down to a key fob that alters reality created by a computer nerd that may or may not have wanked off a teacher. The issues with the episode are numerous. The tone is like some B-movie horror satire,the main character is insufferable (why her boyfriend is with her is incredibly unclear), the plot is mainly predictable minus the horse shit ending which succeeds in making sure that neither the journey nor the destination was worth it. It seems like the intended message here was don’t bully smart kids, but in doing so it led to the greatest technology in the history of life, so do bully them I guess. God knows. Regardless, just save yourself the trouble and skip this festering mess of a turd. Copying the feel of last season’s episode Joan Is Awful, but without the ‘fun’ comedy aspect that episode had, and even then it was pretty bad especially for a Black Mirror episode, this episode is instead a soulless, joyless, waste of 49 minutes.
(Turns out this wasn’t the lowest point)
During Common People we are treated to an Easter Egg during the episode in the form of the artificial bees from Hated in The Nation. Rather than serving as a small nod or nudge, nudge, wink, wink to the audience it instead highlights just how far both of these episodes are from the generally great moments and episodes that Black Mirror is capable of. I have not yet watched the other four episodes of the season but my expectations of them are sadly non-existent.
My Top Ten Black Mirror Episodes (so far)
- White Bear
- Shut Up and Dance
- USS Callister
- Playtest
- Hated in the Nation
- Loch Henry
- Hang the DJ
- Beyond The Sea
- Nosedive
- Crocodile